That’s not just a catchy phrase—it’s the hard truth. If your messaging isn’t laser-focused on your ideal client, it’s probably being ignored. And the longer you stay unclear about who you’re speaking to, the harder it will be to grow your business.

The solution? Define your IDEAL CLIENT AVATAR. This simple exercise will help you:
1. Create marketing that actually resonates.
2. Speak directly to the clients you WANT to work with.
3. Stop wasting time and money attracting the WRONG audience.

In this post, I’ll walk you through three steps to get crystal clear on who your ideal client is—so you can start attracting them today.

The first step to defining your ideal client avatar is understanding what they WANT—and what’s holding them back. But here’s the thing: surface-level answers aren’t enough. To truly connect with your ideal clients, you need to dig deeper and uncover their REAL motivations and struggles.

This is where the “Three Levels of Why” framework comes in. Think of it like the movie Inception—you have to keep going deeper, layer by layer, to find the core truth.

How the Three Levels of Why Work

Every time you ask “Why?” you get closer to the emotional root of what your client wants or struggles with. Let’s break it down:

Level 1: The Obvious Goal or Pain Point: At the surface, your client might say: 
• "I want to grow my business."
•  "I want to lose weight."
•  "I want to improve my leadership skills."

These are valid goals, but they're generic. They don't tell you what's driving that goal—or what's truly at stake for your client. 

Level 2: The Underlying Reason: This is where things start to get more specific. Ask "Why?" again: 
• Why do they want to grow their business? -- “Because they want consistent revenue instead of the feast-or-famine cycle.”
• Why do they want to lose weight? -- “Because they want to feel confident and comfortable in their clothes.”
• Why do they want to improve their leadership skills? -- “Because they’re struggling to manage their team effectively and feel like they’re failing.”

Now you’re getting closer to what really matters—but you’re not done yet.

Level 3: The Emotional Core: Ask “Why?” one more time. At this level, you uncover the emotional truth behind their goal. This is where the real power of your messaging comes from.
• Why do they want consistent revenue? -- “Because they’re tired of worrying about money and want financial freedom to support their family.”
• Why do they want to feel confident in their clothes? -- “Because they’re afraid they’re losing their identity and want to feel like themselves again.”
• Why do they want to manage their team more effectively? -- “Because they fear they’re failing as a leader and want to prove they’re capable of handling more responsibility.”

By this point, you’ve gone deep enough to uncover the emotional stakes behind their goals and pain points. This is what your messaging needs to address—because THIS is what truly drives decisions.

Three Levels of Why in Action

Example: Let’s say you’re a business coach. Here’s how the Three Levels of Why might look for your ideal client:

1. Level 1: “I want to grow my business.”
2. Level 2: “I want consistent revenue instead of the feast-or-famine cycle.”
3. Level 3: “I want financial freedom so I can support my family and stop worrying about money.”

Knowing this, instead of saying, “I’ll help you grow your business,” you could say, “I’ll help you create consistent revenue so you can stop stressing about cash flow and focus on building the life you want.” Much stronger and speaks to what they really desire. 

Using the Three Levels of Why for Pain Points

The same framework applies to pain points. Keep asking “Why?” until you uncover the emotional core.

For example: If you’re a personal trainer, your client’s pain points might look like this:

1. Level 1: “I don’t have time to work out.”
2. Level 2: “I’m too busy with work and family obligations.”
3. Level 3: “I feel guilty for neglecting my health and I’m scared it’s starting to affect my energy and confidence.”

Knowing this, instead of saying, “I’ll help you find time to work out,” you could say, “I’ll help you prioritize your health with quick, effective workouts so you can feel confident and energized without sacrificing time with your family.”

By going through the Three Levels of Why, you move from generic, surface-level messaging to something deeply personal and compelling. When your audience feels like you truly understand their challenges and dreams, they’ll trust you—and they’ll be ready to work with you.

Now that you know what your ideal client wants and what’s holding them back, the next step is to get specific about WHO they are. The more vivid this picture, the easier it will be to craft messaging that speaks directly to them.

1. Demographics: Who Are They? Start with the basics:

• What’s their age range?
• What’s their profession or industry?
• Are they primarily male, female, or a mix?

For example:
• “They’re entrepreneurs aged 30-45 running service-based businesses.”
• “They’re busy moms in their late 30s balancing careers and family life.”

While demographics are important, don’t stop there. You need to go deeper

2. Psychographics: What Drives Them? Psychographics go beyond surface details and focus on behaviors, preferences, and motivations.

Ask Yourself:
• What motivates them? Are they driven by financial success, recognition,        personal growth, or creating stability for their family?
• What are their values? Do they value time freedom, relationships,                    achievement, or creativity?
• What are they afraid of? What risks or failures are they trying to avoid?

Examples of Psychographics:
• “They value financial security but feel stuck in a feast-or-famine cycle.”
• “They’re highly motivated to improve their health but are intimidated by          starting over.”
• “They fear that scaling their business will lead to burnout.”

3. Where Are They Spending Time? If you don’t know where your audience is hanging out, your marketing will never reach them.

Think About:
• Social Media Platforms: Are they on LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook?
• Online Communities: Do they join Facebook groups, forums, or industry-      specific networks?
• Offline Spaces: Are they attending conferences, meetups, or local events?

For example:
• A fitness coach’s ideal client might be following wellness influencers on Instagram.
• A leadership consultant’s ideal client might be engaging with professional groups on LinkedIn.​